I'm not sure I want to do this

My classes opened up today. 3 different classes, including my last quarter of Hebrew. It is likely going to be challenging, but worth it. I started to think this morning and last night, though...do I really want to do this? It is hard for me to think about 2 and 1/2 more years of studies, and then what? Does God call us somewhere? Does my current role change? What does this interim period look like -- more lock ins and youth retreats, and wrestling with what I think I want to do, what I think God is asking, and what is real and feasible for me and the family? I had a moment of really considering stopping this class stuff for a bit -- it is so draining at moments, I get so wound up about it, I feel like I'm not me. Then I think of what is to come, how this is benefitting my family in the long run, me personally, and how my path has been crossed with 7 other men who would come here tonight if I needed them. Those reasons are reason enough to continue. Plus, I don't want to let my loved ones, who've invested SO much in this, my church, and myself down. I don't quit, and I'm not intending to now. So it is steady on, nose to the grindstone, doing all I can to focus and carve out time to remember why I'm on this journey. It is not for me; I believe I've been called to it. I've tried to run from calling in the past, and that worked out pretty poorly. I pray and believe this run I'm on has kingdom implications, and that is inspiring for certain. So it is steady on.